Lemons

Outrage.

That's the only way I know how to put it.
I am 100% completely outraged.
There are only a few qualities in people that have the ability to frustrate me to this point.
Liars, Cheaters, and Human Beings with a total disregard for anyone other than themselves. (We will call them selfish pricks.)
They will hurt anyone and everyone in their way to self-gratification.
Whether or not that person is friend or foe or even family. They are non-discriminatory. It doesn't matter to them who they hurt as long as it is not them that suffers.
It is them and their enablers that really do me in.
Enablers are incapable of justice. They are only supporting a lost cause, contributing to the inevitable downfall of their charges.
Is it Love?
Is it stubbornness?
Mercy?
Or blind faith in a perpetually evil being that causes them to ensue this devastating course of action?
I do not know. But I do care. I want to know WHY!!??
Why can moral and decent people with strong values and principles be cast aside by the same people that choose to devote their support to those unworthy of it?
After a time does this not become predictable?
Do they not grow tired of this twisted game?
Are the enablers themselves weak?
So many questions...


And yes, I need to know. I need to know so that I can accept what I cannot understand. Without acceptance, my mind rages with an inner war.

First and foremost, I have this great desire to "help" people. Unfortunately, I have yet to meet anyone with these qualities that wants to be "saved". In the past, the only thing this has brought me has been inconceivable amounts of pain. So now, normally, I would choose to "escape" these tragedies of life by avoidance. I would simply, not allow myself to be associated with them. I would avoid them, pray for them, and leave well enough alone.


But what about when certain circumstances or relationships bring these people to you for good? What if avoidance and ignorance are no longer available options? How can you live with them everyday in your life but not be affected by them? Can you? How do you prevent them from dragging you down with them or at the very least, stop the ever increasing aftershocks they leave in their wake? It seems that everyone they come into contact with is a little more empty, a little less happy than before. How can you be so relatively close to them but not harbour hostility? What about the enablers' themselves? Can you not hold them accountable for their actions either? Do you simply dismiss them as well? How long can that go on before pandemonium strikes? How long before it has affected you in such a way that you are changed? Bitter? Resentful? Is there anyway to not let this happen? They sure as hell don't deserve the credit you are giving them by letting them "get" to you but how do you write them off?


I am usually a lemonade maker...
But today, it is pouring lemons.